Ho Ho Harassment

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on December 7, 2007 by francisb


A Santa bot has been talking dirty to kids online. Run by Microsoft, the Santa program uses artificial intelligence to have have online conversations with children regarding their Christmas wishes. Apparently robot Santa has more on his mind.

“The Register, reported that a chat between Santa and his underage nieces about eating pizza prompted Santa to bring up oral sex.”

Programmers are still unsure of how Santa got the ability to talk dirty, but that’s insignificant. The children were asking for it.

“Sohn said Santa’s lewd comment was sparked by someone “pushing this thing to make it do things it wasn’t supposed to do.””

That’s right children; push Santa and Santa will push back. You want pizza? Santa wants a blowjob.


Evel Lawl

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on December 4, 2007 by francisb


New Giant Killer Sea Animal

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on December 4, 2007 by francisb


From the past. Scientists on a remote Artic island have uncovered the remains of a giant prehistoric reptile.

“His team described those 150-million-year-old remains as belonging to a short-necked plesiosaur measuring more than 30 feet — “as long as a bus … with teeth larger than cucumbers.”

The short-necked plesiosaur was a voracious reptile often compared to the Tyrannosaurus rex of the oceans.”

This particular bus-sized maneater is also a new species. Scientists aren’t impressed.

“We are regularly seeing new species of plesiosaurs popping up — in a way because, in the past 10 or 15 years, there has been what we call a renaissance in plesiosaur research.”

Renaiss-what? Scientists are so smart.

So I says “Renaissanced the renaissance some renaissance. Renaissance.”

The Day the Magic Died

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on December 3, 2007 by francisb


A Swedish think tank did the math on Santa’s supposed big night. Santa has 34 microseconds per house, travelling at 3,600 miles per second.

They’ve also debunked the North Pole hoax.

“Sweco’s report on Santa’s most efficient route — which takes into account factors like geographic density and the fewest detours — shows that he wouldn’t be able to make his round-the-world trip from there in time.”

Santa’s Kyrgyzstani, according to the Swedes.

Good job think tank. But there’s still work to be done. What are the logistics of a red-nosed reindeer, or a witty scarf-wearing snowman?

Enough lies. The Swedes are onto you.

The article also mentions another, more hard hitting, report. Don’t know who wrote it.

“Santa’s sleigh, weighed down with presents and travelling at supersonic speed, would encounter such massive air resistance that the entire contraption would burst into flames and be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second.”

Santa never stood a chance.

Merry Christmas kids!

love teh lawls

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on December 3, 2007 by francisb


More Lawls

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on December 1, 2007 by francisb







Lawls Bots

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on November 30, 2007 by francisb