Number One Russian

Famed robot fighter Garry Kasparov has decided to run for President of Russia.

Kasparov is famous for beating robots at chess. For those unfamiliar:

Chess is the opposite of checkers.
Most humans can’t understand chess.
Chess was invented by robots.
No two chess pieces are the same.
No two chess pieces have the same name.
Some games of chess have continued on for decades.
Old people in parks that say they play chess are lying.*
To put in into perspective, Stephen Hawking doesn’t know how to play chess. He got crippled trying to learn.
The movie Labyrinth is actually a complicated metaphor for chess.

This loves chess. But Garry Kasparov can beat it. If we ever saw him, we’d probably say something like Hey Garry, looks like you put them robots in check, mate.

*But humor them. Sometimes old people lie out of loneliness.